Hey girl….I’ve recently discovered my husband likes ass play…it gets me hot as hell too, but all we have is one largish vibe…which I feel I don’t have much control of….rec’s? Should we just get a catalogue and go nuts?

EEEEEEEEE! I’m so excited for you!

First, let me direct you to Lube 101 because above all else, ass play requires good lube.

Since you say you just started, I’m going to try to compile a quick list of toy essentials that are perennially fun, but will also help you and your husband figure out just what kind of anal stimulation he likes. From there, you can move on to a few high-quality toys that suit his ass best (I’ve also included recommendations for these.) Continue reading »

I get a lot of questions about lube, so hopefully this can serve as an all-purpose reference post on the stuff. I address the primary factors to consider when selecting a lube and my personal favorites.

Water Vs. Oil Vs. Silicone
These categories refer to the “base” or primary ingredient in lubricant.

Water- common and safe for all uses (can be used orally, anally, vaginally, and on any type of toy without an issue, barring sensitivity to a secondary ingredient). Will dry off on its own or be absorbed into the skin, so clean up is no problem.

Oil- Can be used on the penis, for body massage, OR anally if no latex products are present and preferably when the anus in question is not located near a vagina. You know what? Just use it on penises, okay? I don’t have the energy to explain the ideal “putting crisco on your bhole” situation. Baby oil and Vaseline are both oil-based products that are sometimes used as oil-based lubricants, but you should rid yourself of the idea that this is okay (it’s not!). Washes off with soap and water, degrades latex, and when not cleaned up can provide the ideal breeding ground for bacteria. Not a friend of vaginas.

Silicone- The longest lasting, smoothest type of lubricant, can be used in any and all holes and on toys that DO NOT CONTAIN SILICONE (glass and metal, for example). Waterproof, too, for shower fun. Comes off with soap and water, hypoallergenic. Once again, do not use silicone lube with silicone toys or toys of unknown materials. Also stains some fabric so be careful!

Hybrid Lube- Contains a mixture of water and silicone, supposedly offering the best of both worlds. Sometimes advertised as safe to use on silicone toys, but TW doesn’t play games with her sex toys and thinks you should just put a condom over them if you want to use silicone or hybrid lubes with your silicone toys.


Lubricant comes as liquid, gel, and “lotion.” Liquid lubricant is great as an all-purpose lube, or when you just need a teeny tiny bit of help. Gel is ideal for anal use, as it can cushion the delicate rectal tissue from damage and is better at staying in place and slippery than liquid lube. To keep gel lubricant from drying out in the tube, squeeze all the air out after you use it. Lotion lube, like Doc Johnson’s Anal Lube and Liquid Silk lube is very concentrated and silky, so a little goes a long way. It is more comparable to liquid lube than gel lube, as it slides on in a thin layer.

Fancy Schmancy Hot/Cold/Sweet/Tart

Lubricants that advertise as warming, cooling, tingling, or flavored are self-explanatory as to their function. However, I’d like to clarify that flavored lube is for sucking dicks. Period. Do nothing else with it. Slather it on and lick it off, and then WASH THE AFOREMENTIONED DICK before putting it in things. Do not put flavored lube in vaginas or anuses, as it may act as a harbinger of yeast infections, especially if used vaginally. In fact, anyone with sensitive body parts should avoid lubricant with any bells and whistles like those I mentioned.


Sliquid has been an industry leader in sensitive, organic lubricants, and if that’s your thing, go nuts. However, I am a Vie Lube evangelist. Not to put too fine a point on this, but Vie Ultrasensitive Liquid feels like straight up pussy juice (REALLY YOU GUYS IT DOES). A customer recently lowered her eyes and told me Vie was “the most natural thing I’ve ever felt in my life…” Vie also makes silicone liquid, if you happen to be allergic to/unhappy about propylene glycol. Their silicone-water blend makes me drool just looking at it- so thick!

In general, look for lubricant that contains the fewest ingredients possible. Pay close attention to mineral and plant oils, parabens, aspartame, sweeteners, and glycerin (by the way- glycerin is not sugar. Glycerin is not the main culprit in yeast infections caused by lube. What glycerin can do is draw water into the mucus membranes and lower the pH of the vagina or rectum. So still avoid it if you’re sensitive, but y’all, it is not a sugar.) if you have sensitive skin or a finicky vagina.

More to be added as the need develops…

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